A few weeks ago, an Italian officemate corrected someone talking about carbonara sauce with cream, saying that true carbonara sauce was from the Rome region, and she was pretty sure it used pecorino cheese – in any case, certainly not cream. In France, carbonara sauce is generally considered to be diced-up bacon (cooked), and a fresh egg mixed with cream. The hot bacon and pasta, when stirred with the sauce, cook the egg and cream just enough to thicken.

On a certain social site (which has been great for getting back in touch with friends around the world!), an Italian friend confirmed that the sauce used pecorino, and one of her friends mentioned that a dash of ground black pepper should be added too – that was where the “carbon” came from in the name. It all sounded delicious, so I was very much looking forward to finding some pecorino here in Nice. “Shouldn’t be too difficult, we’re near the border, I bet there will be some at the Libé market,” I thought.

I went there today, and sure enough, there was an Italian shop selling Italian hams and cheeses! With not one, but two types of pecorino: romano and tendre sardegna, which you can see in this blurry photo (taken with my cameraphone). The pecorino tendre sardegna is the cheese with black rind, two of them are stacked on the right. The pecorino romano is in the middle, marked 17.90€/kg. It also has a black crust, which isn’t visible here.

I asked for une tranche de pecorino romano (“a slice of pecorino romano”) in my own Niçois-ish accent, meaning what I said sounded more like “una transha de pecorino romano”. (French people who don’t know me first assume I’m from the area due to my accent… it’s a bit odd, knowing I picked up the accent because it’s actually easier for me to pronounce, being more rhythmic.) Also, having studied Italian at university, I used Italian “r” sounds, in the front of the mouth, not the French “r” rolled in the back of the mouth. “Romano??” the shopkeeper asked, seeming surprised. “Romano!” I nodded, smiling. “È italiano!” he smiled. I nodded, smiling again, happy to have found Italian cheeses.

Immediately after I’d nodded, I realized I’d misheard him: he had said “è italiana“, meaning he’d assumed I was Italian (“a” makes it feminine, me being a woman, whereas pecorino is masculine), and I had just said “yes” with my nod. English, French and Italian jumbled in my mind, I couldn’t say a word to correct the misunderstanding. “Italiani hanno molto buon gusto,” the man said cheerily. Again I understood right away (“Italians have very good taste”), so I chuckled and nodded, then mentally kicked myself for getting into a conversation in which I couldn’t participate. My hesitation made me too late to say anything in any language again: “Dopo?” the man asked. “Next?” literally – in French, market sellers often say “Autre chose?”, equivalent to our “anything else?” I motioned “no” and said “okay” for just the pecorino romano. (“OK” seems to work in 99% of Indo-European languages.) He rang me up, looking disappointed, and I left, feeling much the same way, wishing I’d been able to express myself.

Then again, it’s not exactly easy to explain: as simple a statement as “I’m American” may seem, those of us who live here know that it doesn’t conjure images of multilingualism or “good taste.” I am also “French”, though not born here, and being French does equate to ideas of “good taste” for some, but there’s friendly rivalry between Spain, France, and Italy as to whose taste is “better”, and depending on the person, you never quite know what stereotypes you’ll be running into. In any case, one thing is certain: I speak just enough Italian to embarrass myself. I still remember that stage of speaking French, too!

This is a meme I’ve done for two years now: at the end of 2009 and the end of 2010.

1. What did you do in 2011 that you’d never done before?
- Became a French citizen (dual US citizenship)
- Finished my Masters degree in comparative literature at the Université de Nice… with honors! (I still can hardly believe I managed it)
- Started sewing seriously, for my own wardrobe, rather than just one or two pieces a year
- Subscribed to the opera in Monaco Monte-Carlo

2. Did you keep your New Year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I don’t make New Year’s resolutions, I decide things as I go.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
Yes, a childhood friend! Also, more colleagues had babies. All are happy and in good health, though one delivery was a bit scary.

4. Did anyone close to you die?
A grade school classmate early in the year, yes.

5. What countries did you visit?
Italy, but only briefly, and only Ventimiglia, which is on the border with France.

6. What would you like to have in 2012 that you lacked in 2011?
Last year I answered “peace”, which was abundant in 2011, I’m happy to say. Right now I’m at a place where I genuinely don’t feel I’m lacking anything important. I do hope that others missing that peace could experience it.

7. What dates from 2011 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
The day I freed myself from a man who turned out to have been dishonest all along. As happens with that sort, his false self fell apart all at once. Having experienced that before (not in such a close relationship, though), I knew to just let him drop and move on. I’ve been terrifically relieved since then, thankful for friends and happy for my independence.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Clearly, finishing my Masters degree with honors, in French, while working full time. I was so nose-to-the-grindstone that three months after my thesis defense, I’m still cleaning up piles that formed in my apartment!

9. What was your biggest failure?
Due to school expenses, again I didn’t manage to get my bathroom water damage repaired. This is a priority for 2012.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
2011 was remarkably healthy for me.

11. What was the best thing you bought?
Sewing patterns and fabric. I’m set for the next few years. Also, my new cycling shoes. They’re so great, it’s like having a new bike.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
Definitely, without a doubt, the same as last year: my friends’. Their presence, sincerity and kindness meant a great deal to me. I feel blessed to know so many neat people, who value empathy and trust.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
Appalled – he knows who he is and why. Depressed – not for very long, paradoxically. It reassured me of the value of honesty, responsibility, and empathy. Seeing people who are so fundamentally dishonest that they can convince you of sincerity for a short while (with a well-practiced false self), is more depressing for their own account. They’ll never know what it is to trust another, nor what it is to trust themselves, even. Any joy and attachment they may display are naught but a camouflage for profound alienation.

14. Where did most of your money go?
Mortgage, food, and books.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Finishing my degree and riding my bike!

16. What song will always remind you of 2011?
This one, posted by a friend in response to a joke I made about being a cannibal (my Oregon university’s mascot is the Duck, and I baked a free-range duck for Christmas):

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
a) happier or sadder? Much happier.
b) thinner or thicker? Same.
c) richer or poorer? Richer, again, though that’s not saying much :)

18. What do you wish you’d done more of?
Bicycling and playing my digital piano, but that would have meant spending less time on my studies.

19. What do you wish you’d done less of?
I’m thinking about this and can’t come up with anything. Everything contributed to healthy growth, even the negative.

20. How did you spend Christmas?
At home alone, but surrounded by Christmas cards and well-wishes from friends :) And not entirely alone, thanks to my two feline sweethearts.

21. Did you fall in love in 2011?
I thought I was falling for a bit, but nope. Instead I learned to better appreciate trustworthy friendships; the love that already exists in life.

22. How many one-night stands?
I’ve never had a one-night stand and dare say I never will. I think I’ll delete this question next year, it’s kind of pointless.

23. What was your favorite TV program?
“Sense and Sensibility” (the BBC miniseries, which I only just watched this year, and loved).

24. What was the best book you read?
Roots of Survival: Native American Storytelling and the Sacred by Joseph Bruchac.

25. What was your greatest musical discovery?
1980s punk rock. I missed a lot of it as a kid.

26. What did you want and get?
An excellent graduate education.

27. What did you want and not get?
I suppose this could have an obvious answer, but it doesn’t, really. Sometimes, when you don’t “get” something that you thought you wanted, you discover that you’re surrounded by things that are just as wonderful, in different ways.

28. What was your favorite film of this year?
I didn’t really pay attention to movies, what with my studies.

29. What did you do on your birthday?
Relaxed a bit from work and studies.

30. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
The year was immeasurably satisfying as it was; I’m happy with it.

31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2011?
Independent

32. What kept you sane?
Friends and creativity, as well as Kanoko and Susu (my cats).

33. What political issue stirred you the most?
The Occupy movement.

34. Who did you miss?
Faraway friends

35. Who was the best new person you met?
Sue! We need to meet IRL too :)

36. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2011:
Being responsible, compassionate and assertive is very invigorating.

38. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:
Who needs lyrics when you have rock, a muscle car chase, explosions, and CATS? (There is also a dog.)

There will be five operas in all, so I’ve been using it as a nice reason to add some home-sewn items to my wardrobe. Currently I’m working on a capelet that will be made of black silk burnout velvet patterned with roses, and lined with a soft black cotton velvet. The pattern is McCall’s 3033 (M3033), view F with the stand-up collar. It will be perfect for keeping off the November Riviera chill.

The Creator found that his daughter laughed and sang too much; and she talked constantly. She asked too many questions. Why do the leaves of the Tree of Life shine? Who created the Upper World? Who named the plants? Creator still loved her, for this was his daughter, but this constant laughter and questions, what could he do? The Creator had told them many times to stay away from the Tree of Life and not to play around its trunk. But like all curious children she had to see why her father said these things. First Man would insist that she not go to the tree but every day First Woman would climb the tree to its highest limbs. One day she found a hole in the bottom of the trunk and started to go in. First Man was again insistent that she stay away from the tree but to no avail. She went in and fell out of the bottom of Ga-lun-la-ti.

Creator returned home to find First Woman was missing. He asked First Man “where is my daughter?” to which the young man replied “I told her not to go into the hole in the bottom of the tree, but she would not listen.” Creator did not know what to do as he peered over the side of Ga-lun-la-ti and saw his daughter falling toward the awesome ball of water.

There’s an excellent documentary on the Huron-Wendat (Wyandot, Iroquoian but not members of the Confederacy/League) available online thanks to the Canadian National Film Bureau, Kanata: Legacy of the Children of Aataentsic. If you understand French, the original is at Kanata : l’héritage des enfants d’Aataentsic. It includes an oral retelling of the Aataentsic/Skywoman myth, as well as further symbolism and its relation to their way of thinking, which I found heartening as well as interesting.

In a quirky turn of events, I actually did not know of the French-language Huron-Wendat versions before beginning my thesis… which is in French. I had been prepared to translate one of the English versions, and then discovered Aataentsic, “Celle de toute sagesse”.

Sheriff Dupnik said a consuming atmosphere of political vitriol centred on Arizona may have been a factor in the attack. “When you look at unbalanced people, how they respond to the vitriol that comes out of certain mouths about tearing down the government,” he said. “The anger, the hatred, the bigotry that goes on in this country is getting to be outrageous. And unfortunately, Arizona, I think, has become the capital. We have become the Mecca for prejudice and bigotry.”

This anger had spilled into violence before, with Ms Giffords’ office being vandalised last March after she upset Arizona conservatives by supporting Mr Obama’s healthcare reform bill.

A few days ago, an internet acquaintance committed suicide; he had been severely abused from an early age. A week before that, I finished writing my paper for a Masters course titled “Theatre and violence”. We had studied Shakespeare’s “Titus Andronicus”, Sarah Kane’s “Blasted”, Botho Strauß’ “Schändung” (based on “Titus Andronicus”), and Corneille’s “Medea”. In finishing my paper, I was relieved; the course had been interesting and eye-opening, but I was glad to move on from the heart-rending subject matter. Instead, I’m a bit overwhelmed by this last week.

Thankfully, the New York Times published a piece that says much of what I think; much of what many of us think, who have been watching inflammatory rhetoric in the US go far beyond reason. A Turning Point in the Discourse, but in Which Direction?

What’s different about this moment is the emergence of a political culture — on blogs and Twitter and cable television — that so loudly and readily reinforces the dark visions of political extremists, often for profit or political gain. It wasn’t clear Saturday whether the alleged shooter in Tucson was motivated by any real political philosophy or by voices in his head, or perhaps by both. But it’s hard not to think he was at least partly influenced by a debate that often seems to conflate philosophical disagreement with some kind of political Armageddon.

The problem here doesn’t lie with the activists like most of those who populate the Tea Parties, ordinary citizens who are doing what citizens are supposed to do — engaging in a conversation about the direction of the country. Rather, the problem would seem to rest with the political leaders who pander to the margins of the margins, employing whatever words seem likely to win them contributions or TV time, with little regard for the consequences.

For readers who may not be aware of the specifics, Gabrielle Giffords, the woman shot, was one of the targets (designated by crosshairs) on a map from Sarah Palin, called “We’ve diagnosed the problem… help us prescribe the solution.” Giffords is named specifically on the map key, signed by Palin herself. I linked the NYT article before bringing it up for a reason: “Odds are pretty good that neither of these — nor any other isolated bit of imagery — had much to do with the shooting in Tucson. But scrubbing them from the Internet” (which Palin did following the shooting) “couldn’t erase all evidence of the rhetorical recklessness that permeates our political moment.”

When brushed aside as “nothing more than…”, violence begets violence. It’s high time that more people recognize that physical violence is not the only form. Rhetorical and emotional violence also exist; the weakest in society pay for it the most: children, minorities, the mentally ill and unstable. Whether it manifests in suicide, rape, beatings, murder, assassination, war, we all end up feeling the consequences. The cycle can end when violence’s more subtle, subversive forms are recognized and called out for what they are: Wrong. Abusive. Unacceptable. We can do better. More positively, we can encourage respect, tolerance, and recognition that we’re all in life together.

Kanoko, as you’ve often seen, likes to stick his curious self into otherwise-still lifes. These are some of the treats I’ll be having to ring in the New Year, with egg and pine cone added for symbolism (the New Year being associated with rebirth). Pine cones are also neat for their math: their scales are arranged in Fibonacci number sequences, as are shell spirals and many other things. As for Kanoko, I’m pretty sure his mathematical basis is most closely related to chaos theory.

When not nerding out over snail shells and pine cones while drinking French wine, I’ve been playing my new digital piano (it’s as nice as I’d hoped) and writing a paper for one of my Masters courses. Once it and a second paper are finished, the first three-fourths of 2011 will be spent focused on my thesis. (As a reminder, I’m working on a Masters in comparative literature.) My initial research has been going well, in spite of, and even thanks to, a few setbacks, because they piqued my curiosity and incited me to look places I wouldn’t have otherwise. My advisor is great as well, and has recommended works I was unfamiliar with, that are a huge boon. It’s a good foundation, and working on these two smaller papers has helped develop ideas I’ll use in my thesis too, so I’m looking forward to the challenge. Yes, I am speaking in generalities on purpose — the topics involved are things that people often feel strongly about, whether they’ve analyzed them or not, so I prioritize my own peace of mind over attracting readers to my site with something more piquant.

That said, Kanoko is quite piquant. (In French, piquant can mean “pointy; sharp” in addition to “spicy; provocative; stimulating”.)

Happy New Year to everyone, all the best for 2011!

Nice Christmas present, eh!

I can now vote in French national elections, as well as European Union elections, and will no longer have to worry about ever-changing immigration laws for non-EU citizens (which I was, until the 13th of December). I have kept my US citizenship, mainly to continue voting and participating there as well, so I have dual nationality.

1. What did you do in 2010 that you’d never done before?
- Applied for French citizenship (will be dual with my US citizenship).
- Applied for and was accepted into a Masters degree program.
- Checked in passengers on Air France flights. I’m still like a kid when it comes to airplanes. My current job is as a contractor at Air France, testing airline ticketing agreements. Part of that was learning how to operate their check-in system. Not a huge thing, but still, whee! (I only do it for testing, though, not for real-life flights.)

2. Did you keep your New Year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I don’t make New Year’s resolutions, I decide things as I go.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
Like last year, yes, several colleagues had babies! They’re all adorable, though to the difference of last year, a few have had some worrisome health problems (they’re okay, but it’s stressful).

4. Did anyone close to you die?
Yes, my paternal grandmother, early this year. I’ll always remember her for her delicious pies, smart humor, and the love she had for my grandfather (who passed away several years ago). My dear cat Grey also passed away.

5. What countries did you visit?
This was the first year I didn’t leave France.

6. What would you like to have in 2011 that you lacked in 2010?
Peace.

7. What dates from 2010 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
My grandmother’s passing, Grey’s passing, and December 1st, which is when I met a neat man.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Despite innumerable financial setbacks, nonetheless managing to scrape up enough to finally purchase a digital piano. I’ve wanted a piano (real, or realistic digital) to play for over a decade now, and am really looking forward to it. (I ordered it a few days ago, it was shipped right away, so I should receive it soon. Background: I studied piano from age 5 through to a year as a UOregon School of Music piano performance student, age 20.)

9. What was your biggest failure?
Not managing to get my bathroom water damage repaired… still… I should be able to afford it in a couple of months though!

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Goodness yes. 2010 was the worst year of my life for that. (I hope it stays the worst, I wouldn’t want any worse.)

11. What was the best thing you bought?
The Korg digital piano I mentioned in 8!

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
My friends’. Their presence, sincerity and kindness meant a lot. I feel terrifically lucky to know so many neat people.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
This isn’t really a question that can be answered in public, is it.

14. Where did most of your money go?
Mortgage, food, and DIY supplies.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Being accepted to the Masters program in comparative literature and going to classes for it!

16. What song will always remind you of 2010?
Not a song, but the Old Spice Man phenomenon:

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
a) happier or sadder? All told, happier!
b) thinner or fatter? Same.
c) richer or poorer? Richer, though that’s not saying much :)

18. What do you wish you’d done more of?
Bicycling and sewing

19. What do you wish you’d done less of?
Being ill…!

20. How will you be spending Christmas?
At home alone with Kanoko, books, and a delicious home-cooked meal.

21. Did you fall in love in 2010?
I think I’m falling, yes :)

22. How many one-night stands?
I’ve never had a one-night stand and dare say I never will.

23. What was your favorite TV program?
“Mad Men”

24. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?
Same as last year… I don’t do hate. Such a pointless waste of energy. I should just change this question.

25. What was the best book you read?
Coyote Was Going There: Indian Literature of the Oregon Country

26. What was your greatest musical discovery?
Not really a “discovery” per se, but going to the opera was really nice.

27. What did you want and get?
Again, the Korg digital piano!

28. What did you want and not get?
Relief from illness, though it is finally getting better these last couple of months.

29. What was your favorite film of this year?
It wasn’t a great year for films, but I did like “Inception”. I don’t think it’s great, mind, but it was nice.

30. What did you do on your birthday?
I forget!

31. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Can’t really say

32. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2010?
US West Coast hippy mixed with French chic.

33. What kept you sane?
Getting home every evening and opening my front door to the sight of Kanoko, purring and excited to see me.

34. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Eh. I’ve never really fancied famous people, because I know that I don’t know who they really are. I should change this question too, my answer is always the same.

35. What political issue stirred you the most?
Everything surrounding Sarkozy and Woerth, argh. Roma, retirement, Bettencourt, what a year.

36. Who did you miss?
Faraway friends

37. Who was the best new person you met?
Finn :)

38. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2010:
Same as last year, confirmed even more: sincerity, integrity, and compassion earn respect, and even when overlooked, give you an inner strength that keeps you going during the worst of times.

39. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:
“This is ponderous, man. Really ponderous.”

With 2010 nearing its end, it’s safe for me to say it’s been a very long and rough year. Two weeks ago, Patches fell badly ill, and rejoined her original owners. Now it’s just Kanoko and I, but it’s going to stay that way — I don’t think I’ll take another second cat for a while.

Shown above, Kanoko playing with a catnip-filled toy gifted by a friend. It’s not the best photo, technically speaking, but his expression is priceless; I love his gleaming eyes and clawéd paw. He also has a carrot that he delicately places in front of his food bowl when not playing with it.

Apart from rough times, the year is ending very well, which is a relief! I’m happy to say I met someone, three weeks ago now. I don’t want to say more than that on my site, currently (just for privacy’s sake). I know it must seem odd to announce it and then say so little, but saying nothing would also be a bit rude. In short, I’m happy, he seems happy too, and I hope that things continue to go well.

The weather seems set to give us snow in Nice this Christmas, with temperatures hovering just below and just above zero lately. We’ll see! The snow we had in February was impressive.

Tomorrow I take a TGV from Nice to Marseille, up through Lyon and on to Paris. I’ll be in the city a few days on business, leaving the kitties in the capable hands of a pet sitter. If you’re interested, keep an eye on my photostream; I’ll be updating it with shots from my mobile phone while in Paris. Pictures taken with my DSLR will have to wait until my return to be uploaded.

I’m really looking forward to the long train ride — my company was sweet and got me first-class tickets. It’s 1,000km (about 620 miles) from Nice to Paris, which takes just over 5 hours by TGV. The TGV still runs “slow” (about 120kmh, or 75mph) from Nice to Marseille, but gets up to speed on the Marseille-Paris stretch, which takes only 3 hours. Marseille to Paris is 660km, or 410 miles. That makes for an average speed of 220kmh/137mph — keep in mind the TGV comes to a full stop in Lyon.

Once I stepped off the train in Nice this evening, the familiar woman’s voice announcing arrivals and departures came on with one that first caught my ear because of its very short train number: 19. I stopped dead in my tracks when I heard the train’s destination: Moscow. “Le train numéro 19 à destination de Moscou va partir.” It’s a new line that was put in place just two months ago: French Riviera train for Russia. With fares starting at about 300 euros, I’m sorely tempted to try it out some day. It’s anything but a fast trip though, at 53 hours!